Category: Let's talk
Hello my name is Andrew I'm from the United Kingdom, Devon to be more precise I
don't have a visual impairment and will be doing volunteer work for RNIB (Royal
National Institute of Blind People) and it occurred to me that I don't know how I
should interact with partially sighted people so I searched the Internet and found this
website
If this community has a problem with me being on this website to ask questions I
can delete my account am not here to upset anyone and i may ask stupid questions
I fear that when I start my voluntary work that I may have problems interacting
with partially sighted or completely blind people it may sound stupid but I have a
genuine concern that when i try to talk to a blind person that they wont know that I
am trying to talk with them the reason i have this concern is that when i usually talk
to someone i don't know they can see that i am looking at them so they know i am
talking to them but how does a blind person know that i am if we are in an
environment with other people?
this is just one of the many questions i would like to ask if you are lazy like me you
can add me on skype you can find my Skype user name on my profile I would
actually prefer to communicate over Skype but its up to you
Hi, I think it's cool that you've come here to ask questions. The simple answer is talk to us like you would a sighted person, in the sense that we are equally as capable of making decisions etc.
But you make a good point, often people communicate using a lot of body language. The simple answer is get close to the person you're talking to, I don't mean up in their personal space kind of close, but don't call across a room unless you're addressing them by name. Also, some blind people may seek confirmation that you're talking to them, so if they ask just say yes/no.
You don't need to touch us or anything to let us know, unless the person doesn't hear you, but I can't speak for people who are deafblind as I don't know the ins and outs of that.
Always ask before you guide a person or offer them assistance, just saying "do you need a hand", or something along those lines is fine.
Let me know if you have any other questions.
I agree. Ask us anything you want, don't be shy.
I think the biggest problem you'll face is thinking of us as different. Don't let
the fact that we're blind, or the people you'll be interacting with are blind,
overwhelm you. We're exactly the same as you, just with a slight disability. Its
really not as big an issue as you'd imagine it would be. So, don't let that bother
you. You'll do just fine.
Next, I can pretty much guarantee you that, if you have any problems with
the people you're volunteering for, they will know how to fix it. Don't be afraid
to ask what they need. Don't assume you know what they need. I know that
sounds brusque, but its something a lot of sighted people do. They assume they
know what is needed, and kinda force it. Don't do that. Like Holly said, ask first,
just like you would anyone else.
Finally, if you wish to talk to a specific person, approach them to within
conversation distance, but not so close that they feel like you're invading their
space. Then, just say something like "excuse me sir or ma'am, do you need
help with this or that" whatever you need to be asking. If they ask whether or
not you are talking to them, simply say yes, and continue with your
conversation. Nothing too difficult.
The main thing is to relax. We're just like you. It won't be as different as you
may be imagining it will be. Don't worry. And if you have any questions, please
don't hesitate to ask us.
Yes, that was a good post.
Abnd, the opposite is also true. If you get to know blind people, chances are you will be in a situation where you need their help just as you might imagine they need yours. If you, for instance, are struggling with a heavy package and are at a door, someone else who could see you would have held open the door. It's not imposing to ask us to assist like this, and it's only that we didn't actually see you. I'll give y you an odd example, but it's true: When the Wife was delivering our child, 20 years ago, they said there was a lot of body language that she would give, indicating she needed something, and so pressed upon us both the whole idea of verbal communications.
Now that is a rather extreme example. But I am blind, and I do help out in my own community in the emergency response and other areas. It might seem a bit slow at first for some things, where you would otherwise give a glance or a shrug, but try and remember to talk to us.
I gave you the point of view of the inverse of what you were talking about, a blind person helping you, because a. this is likely to happen the more of us you know, and b. it also personalizes and helps you understand the importance of just verbally saying what's going on. Calling someone by name, for instance, like she said.
Also, this site has quite a few sighted people on it, and many of us have sighted partners or kids, and certainly friends and relatives, so you're in good company.
Also, I don't know any blind person who is afraid of the word blind. I think that is mainly the establishment government or social service types who are like this, maybe this is just the attitude of a freethinker I don't know. But my understanding is, visually impaired is when someone has some vision to imair, meaning they can see at least some. And blind, is, well, blind as a bat. Those of us, like myself, who have no vision at all. In my case, no optic nerves. I don't think people as individual humans are so afraid of the terms the way that highly paid politicians are, so no worries for you there.
What a great topic! Some really great advice has been given here as well. Speaking for myself as being totally blind and legally deaf, sometimes, I have no clue that someone is talking to me, and it takes quite a lot of effort for me to try to hear every word everyone around me is saying. When someone has tried to get my attention vocally and can't, I find just a slight touch on the shoulder or elbo to be beneficial to me, just enough to let me know that someone is there and wishes to communicate with me in some way. We're all different, and we all have our own prefferences, so you might find that some posts contradict others. Just take it all in, do the best you can, then make your own educated decisions when you're doing your volunteer work. The main thing is that you've attempted to educate yourself, and that's a huge start.
Best of luck to you, and by all means, if we can help you, please let us know. We're happy to answer your questions.
first of all thank you for your replies its a little annoying that there isn't a feature to
reply to each one of you separately like on YouTube so that you can tell which post i
am responding too
i'm not so worried about talking to a blind person once I have broken the ice as you
say your all fully capable of communicating and once a conversation has begun I
cant see a problem its just a little different to start a conversation with someone you
don't know and who cant automatically realise that your actually talking to them and
not someone else
in post 2 ScarletSky talks about personal space again this may sound stupid could
someone specify what that would be for a blind person because as a sighted person
that would be about a 3-4 foot radius (can't actually remember how long a foot is so
i could be way off) but then you also have a cane and i imagine that you prefer
people to be a certain distance away so that you can avoid hitting people by
accident?
i guess if anyone doesn't hear me and turns away from me when i am talking to
them if that's because they are being rude or just don't hear me then i will give
them a light tap on the shoulder i was just a little worried that i would break
someone's concentration and cause them problems because i know that you use a
cane but that there is also a mental component
I try and avoid awkward situations and something as simple as asking if you would
like some help can get quite awkward i know that sounds strange but its because we
are taught that we should help disabled people but then we are also aware that you
don't want everything done for you a specially things you can do on your own an
example would be i once got on a elevator with a blind person and decided that he
was capable of selecting a floor but then i realised that he was struggling but by then
too much time had passed and i knew if i said something he would think that i knew
he couldn't perform a simple task and i don't want to hurt his feelings it wasn't his
fault the elevator had a start button only one i've seen in my entire life
my question here would be what type of things do you want help with that you wish
people would ask to help you with more often and the reverse what do you wish
people would help you with less?
sorry if i haven't replied directly to you i do read everything you all say
Yes good advice.
It is hard to say what people want help with or don't.
We are like anyone else, so we will need help, but won't ask, or we don't need help at all no matter how it might look to you.
Just ask, do you need help?
I hate to say this, but you'll find bad behavior too, and that isn't a blind thing either, it is a people thing.
As far as personal space, blind people in a room have more then sight to know you are talking to them.
Some can smell you, or feel you are near, or sense you.
You walk up, if changes the air space in a room.
I'd simpy not worry. Just start talking. If you are being ignored, speak up. Blind people have body language too, so you'll know if you are interrupting them, or they don't want to talk, or they don't hear you.
Oh, and there are other sighted people that use this site for pleasure, and conversation, so don't be a stranger.
We're people just like you, so come talk, not because you have questions, but because you need some entertainment. Smile.
Andrew, you ask some very good questions, and I'm glad you found this site. As for what we do or do not need help with, just remember we are all different. I was once on vacation with a group that provided sighted guides for blind travelers. My guide started to tell me when we were approaching some steps, and another blind person in the group told my guide she didn't need to tell me about the steps and that I would figure out there were steps when we got to them. But I thanked the person for telling me because not only amI blind but due to diabetes, I don't have a lot of feeling in my feet, so I am nervous around steps. So the person who told my guide not to warn me about steps was coming from the point of view that she did not need help, but she should not have spoken for me. All this means is that we are all different and all have different levels of independence and need help with different things. So just ask the people you are working with how you can best help them. Tell them not to be afraid to ask for more help or tell you when you are giving too much help. For example, people walking with me often walk very slowly, andI don't hesitate to tell them to walk at their normal speed unless we are coming up on steps and that is when I appreciate them slowing down.
Again, welcome to this site and good luck with your volunteer work.
Welcome to the site, Andrew. Where better to come for answers than to the source itself? People before me have said some great stuff.
First of all, don’t be afraid of the word blind. Partially sighted, visually impaired, it’s all fine, but when you make a big case to avoid the word ‘blind,’ it gets awkward. I once had a professor use the term “Totally visually impaired.” It’s just faster to say ‘blind.’ In that same boat, go ahead and say, “Did you see that Doctor Who last night?” or “Did you get to watch that program?” Those are figures of speech, and nobody is going to burst into tears by being reminded that they can’t actually *watch* something… probably
As for social interactions, I’m speaking very generally, and from my own personal preferences. Human beings are all different, and one person might be okay with something which another person finds unacceptable. For example, if a stranger is coming up to talk to me, I feel relieved when they lightly touch my arm or shoulder first. I don’t mean a crazy grab of the arm, but I don’t mind a simple touch to say, ‘Hey, I’m here and talking to you.’ I know that other people have huge aversions to being touched, but personally, it takes away the awkward flailing of trying to figure out if I’m being spoken to or not. And that might feel weird in certain situations. I can see that. But if it feels like an open, friendly, casual vibe and not like a creepy invasion, it doesn’t bug me.
Let’s go with some personal experiences here. I’m walking down the sidewalk and someone calls out, “Ma’am?” Firstly, I don’t feel like a ma’am. I’m only in my mid twenties. There could be ten other women near-by. I’m not going to assume he’s calling to me. I keep walking. He calls out again, “ma’am?” I pause and look in the general direction of his voice, a questioning expression on my face. Then he might say something like, “Hey, sorry, bla bla bla.” By continuing his speaking after I acknowledged him, I can be decently certain the person is speaking to me, though that’s not always the case, LOL.
As for personal space, I really don’t want someone talking in my face from two feet in front of me. I don’t think I have a larger bubble than normal, but I suspect it might be easier to approach from the side, or at an angle, rather than straight on. Then, once you’re close enough for normal conversation, “Hey mate, I’m Andrew. How’s it going?” There may be an awkward pause, the person might not realize you’re talking to them. I would be okay with a light touch, or even just persisting on with something like, “Nice weather, yeah?” At that point, in my case, I would usually get the point, laugh, and be like, “Sorry, I didn’t know you were talking to me. Yeah, autumn is great.”
Once you know the person, using their name is helpful. Also, don’t expect people to remember your voice. I don’t know about blind people and facial queues, but I would guess you can probably tell if there is recognition or not.
If anyone gets bent out of shape because you offered help, that’s their own problem. I’m happy enough to say, “Nah, I’m good” or “Sure, actually. Um, I can’t figure out what’s going on with this elevator. Can you give me a hand?” If someone is struggling, and you offer help, they have a perfectly capable mouth to say yes or no. If they say no, then just leave them to it. I wouldn’t want to be around someone who got all miffed just because someone offered to help them out. Social interactions are always a new learning experience for everybody.
As to what I would want help with, if it looks like I’m walking quickly down the street with no problems, then I’m probably fine. If it looks like I can’t figure out how to work the elevator, ask if you can be of help, or just be like, “Hey, yeah, this is a weird one. There’s a start button just down to your left there you have to push first.” People open doors for me all the time. Sometimes I wish they wouldn’t, because it can be hard to tell if they’re holding it, or if it’s about to swing closed and squish me and my dog, but I always smile nevertheless, because I know they’re being nice. I know they consider it rude to hang back and not get the door for the disabled person. For me, that’s okay. You’re trying to be considerate. Most people never bother to open their mouths and say, “I’ve got the door” though. That would be useful.
I know it’s a new situation, and that can be stressful. I’m sure my students have a moment of panic when they first come to tutoring and realize I can’t see them. Usually though, they just get close and speak to me. As I said, so long as you’re not in my face, I don’t mind you being two feet, or one foot away.
Honestly, asking for help really isn't the awkward thing. It's far more awkward to assume that someone does need help, and then you realise you actually messed stuff up where help wasn't needed. If you ask if someone needs help, they'll either say yes or no, but most of us would be happy that you asked rather than assuming. So honestly, don't feel awkward about asking questions, you won't know what someone does or doesn't need otherwise.
Again, I second what Holly said. Every blind person is used to being asked if
they need help, and honestly we're probably pretty used to having people
assume we need help. So just ask, we won't be offended or anything. If they
say no, then that's that. No harm done, and you probably made them smile a
little because you asked.
As for personal space, its the same as everyone else, that is to say it varies.
Your best bet is to treat them like you would anyone else. If you wouldn't be six
inches away from a sighted person, don't do it to a blind person. I'd say about a
meter is a good place to start. Don't worry about the cane though. If you're in a
position for the cane to hit you, you're going to want to move, cuz it'll be
smacking you in the ankles over and over again. If someone is walking, walk by
their side, just like you would anyone else.
Like I said earlier, we're not really different. We just happen not to be able to
see. It doesn't really have as big an impact on our lives as you would think it
does. Unless these people went blind only a month or so before you help them,
it isn't a big deal. For example, I've been blind for over twenty years. I don't
even think about it anymore unless I have to. Its just part of my life now. That's
how it is for most people. So just treat us how you would a sighted person who
was in the same situation.
Hi, Andrew!
I'm Kate, a fellow sighted. I'm married to the Zoner called Ed_G and we live
in London. As a sighted married to a blind person, I'd have to agree with
everything that has been said thus far.
It's no different than making friends with people who are sighted. There's
always going to be that initial awkward "getting to know you" phase but after
a while, you'll probably find (as I have) that you'll get on with people so well
and subtly learn to adapt that the visual impairment/blindness becomes a
non issue and often times forgotten about in normal day-to-day interaction...
the first day after we met IRL, I accidentally walked Ed into the corner of a
brick wall because I mis-judged how far away from it we were walking.
Needless to say, I was totally mortified about it (first real day with a new
guy, hoping it will work out... your typical new couple type jitters). He was a
really good sport about it and only winds me up about it from time to time.
My Mum also has partial vision as a result of a heart attack and stroke about
8 years ago (the right half of her field of vision in both eyes is gone while the
left half is still intact), and goodness knows that in the first few years
afterwards there many times when Mum got knocked about because Dad and
I forgot that she can't normally see anything to the right of her when looking
straight on and she's banged her shins into the dishwasher door that was
carelessly left open or into obstacles on the street that we'd normally not pay
any attention to etc.
Anyway, just be yourself and you'll be fine... trust me on this.
Hi Andrew. I'm glad you've found the Zone, and that you seem to be getting helpful answers. I know some may seem contradictory, but that's because every person is different. I'm glad that you're at least asking the questions. Some people are afraid they'll offend by asking questions, but I'd much rather have someone ask what they might think are stupid questions than make assumptions about blind people and their abilities.
I think the others have summed it up nicely. There's really not that much difference in interacting with a blind person than you would anyone else. I know your chief worry is that you'd be trying to talk to them and they wouldn't realize you were addressing them. Some of this depends on how many people are in the area at a given time. If you're in a crowded hallway, where the terms "sir" or "Miss" or whatever could mean any number of people, that might get a bit tricky. However, if it's just you and the blind person, they're going to have a pretty good idea you mean them. If you feel that you need to touch the person to let them know you mean them specifically, then perhaps a light touch on the shoulder, but most blind people do not like being grabbed or handled. It's amazing how many people seem to think this is ok. General rule of thumb that I tell people is, if you wouldn't interact a certain way with another sighted person, then please don't think it's okay with a blind one.
Good luck, and keep posting questions if you have them.
Hello, andrew, and welcome to this site. Glad you found us.
I think it works both ways. In my case, I volunteer with a local childcare center twice a week, and at first, I was nervous because I wasn't sure how the children would react to me. these are kids ranging anywhere from two to five, and none of them are blind. As I've gotten to know them and vice versa, I think i've been able to relax more around them once they understood what the cane is for. this week, for the first time, I will be bringing my dog to visit. They know the dog is not there to play, but I will have to monitor them when they are in close proximity to the dog, so I can tell if she's being distracted by their petting or making a fuss of her. I will also be reading a book about a woman and her service dog along with the teacher, who will have the printed version complete with colorful illustrations, so the kids can understand how she helps me. So, it's okay to be nervous, but as you come to know the people with whom you are volunteering, it's not so bad, and i agree with everything everyone else has said here. Please don't hesitate to ask questions, and as far as contacting folks privately, click on the person's profile, and there are links toward the bottom of that page that give you the option of sending them an email or a private message through this site. again, welcome, and please keep us posted on how things are going. Take care.
This is a really nice community thank you all for taking your time to answer a few of
my questions and concerns i would like to reply to everyone of you but that would take
me a massive amount of time
I have talked to most of you by the quick note system now so i have asked most of the
questions i can think of a part from how should i guide a blind person if asked
Good question. I don't know if it's done any different in the UK or not, sometimes there are cultural differences. But the way most blind people I know are taught to do sighted guide is to take the sighted person's arm lightly just above the elbow. So, the way I'd advise someone to offer sighted guide is to offer the blind person their arm, not their hand. For me, hand holding is a pretty personal thing. LOL. Maybe ask which side of you they'd rather walk on. For example, I tend to prefer to take someone's right arm, so I can still use my cane in my other hand. It's not a must, it's just what I'm used to. But all that aside, I'd say the most important thing is to let them take your arm, or put a hand on your shoulder, whatever works for them. Not for you to try to grab their arm, or steer them by the shoulders from behind, or some other form of you taking a hold of them. Sorry if I sound more harsh than I mean to, it's just that this is so often done, and it is very awkward to me.
To add slightly to what was just said, when guiding someone with what is
called sighted guide, that is them holding your arm just above your elbow, you
can direct them by moving your arm in certain ways. If you want them to step
back behind you, for when you're going through doors or tight spaces, move
your arm back behind you. It takes a bit of practice, but if you tell the person
you're guiding that you're new at this, they'll understand and help you out. Its
something we've all had to do, and we usually know how to teach a sighted
person to guide us. Its really very simple.
Yes, the sighted guide method is what I prefer as well, and because my right ear is my better ear, I prefer to take my guide's left arm. Just offer them your arm and let them show you how they'd prefer to be guided.
I can confirm that sighted guide in the UK is done exactly how SisterDawn has described. Good luck & well done for taking the time to research these things.
And no one's said, but the main thing is to just try to relax. these are just people, at the end of the day.
It's awkward to deal with a would-be helper who is nervous, and that's very evident; one doesn't need vision to pick up on that. You're probably not going to hurt any feelings, or offend, so put it out of your mind, if you can.
Good luck, and have a good time!
Yes, the addressing by name is quite useful. If someone says "Hey you" or "Hey how are you", I am not certain in a room with others especially in a more crowded one, whether you mean myself or not. I tend to be quite introverted so I do not often tend answer unless I know it's directed specifically at me.
There are certainly not many blind individuals as similar to me, but I tend to live and exist mostly inside myself. not being deaf, I am so self absorbed, lost in thought, or absent-minded, I hardly notice anyone around me, and thus do not tend to know that some person is trying to communicate with me. Sometimes it does take a tap on the shoulder if Hey Rachel doesn't work with me, some people simply talk louder. People ask me all the time, "You didn't hear me?"
Once again i find myself saying thank you for all your replies I have gone ahead with
volunteering they are doing the usual criminal background checks its going to take a
few more weeks for it to be done
apparently it has to be done because the government considers blind people
"vulnerable" i should be OK because i have no criminal record
No problem!
If the blind person is as irrational, careless, and daring as my old friend is, along with some fool hardy individuals, then yes, blind persons can be considered vulnerable indeed, but in general, don't consider that true. I tend to be overly skeptical, careful, and wary. that is amusing.
A few weeks to complete a background check? Gees. Hope everything is going well.